This girl made me a Mama five years ago. God chose me to care for, nurture, and love the most beautiful 6 pound 7 ounce, brown eyed, baled-headed baby girl I’d ever laid eyes on. On that day, I also began a journey I never imagined I would have to take. The joy of being a new mom was stolen from me like a thief in the night and replaced with a sadness I had never known. I spent much of the first year of motherhood in a deep pit of depression and anxiety. I was paralyzed by fear. Most days I felt as if I’d drown in my own tears of despair. I didn’t understand it and I couldn’t explain it.
Too many people suffer in silence from depression and anxiety. It doesn’t matter the onset of these debilitating illnesses they can be devastating. The people who suffer from these lonely and isolating conditions are becoming a forgotten group yet the members are multiplying. Our society, especially the church, should be sensitive to people who suffer with metal illness. Truth be told, often times when we don't understand something we become fearful of it and turn the other cheek. But Jesus never turned the other cheek on the outcast, the leper, the tax collector, or the sinner. He never turned His back on the brokenhearted and the hurting. In fact they were His speciality. The very reason He came to a broken world and surrendered to the cross on our behalf. The beautiful truth is that we don't have to understand what people are going through to love them. If we ask, Jesus will give us eyes to see and hearts to love them as He does. To be honest, if we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus then we need to come along side hurting people and love them even (and maybe especially) when we don’t understand what they are going through.
Even with the best of intentions the church can be the worst kind of encouragers. We say, “If you just love Jesus more you won’t be sad...” or ...“if you read your Bible more you won’t be anxious.” I know because I've said it too. Depression and anxiety are real. I love Jesus and have studied His Word for years and yet depression and anxiety eroded my life like a swarming locust. The enemy lies to us and we feel ashamed and isolated. But the truth is that we have a God who delivers us from all our fears and offers peace where there is much pain. He walks through the valley of darkness with us and is the Light that gives hope when we have none. To be honest, I was angry with God for a long time until I learned that what Satan intended to use to harm and destroy me, God intended it all for good! After a very long journey, God reached down and lifted me out of the pit of despair. (Psalm 40:2, Genesis 50:20) Today I have the sweetest relationship with my precious daughter and it's a testimony of God’s healing. Now when I look into her eyes I see nothing but God’s mercy, His healing, and most importantly His love!
Honestly, I still have to fight the battle for a sound mind and clear emotions. Some days are better than others. The difficult thing about depression and
When I was deep in the pit, God surrounded me with several women who had a similar journey. I can't put into words how they blessed me and gave me so much hope. They spoke Truth over my life and prayed for me daily. If you or someone you know struggles with depression or anxiety, please reach out to someone today. You can see my contact page for my email and I'd be happy to help any way I can. At the very least I would love to pray for you. I'm praying for God to provide more resources in our community, but please don't wait. Tell someone today. Sometimes just knowing you are not alone can give you so much hope.
I miss you!!!😚
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